I don't really blame my husband for being gone during his once-a-week night out. I begrudge him that time like crazy, but I don't hate him for it or anything. I want to punch him in the face for it sometimes, yeah, but only in a friendly way.
But right now, for example, it is 7:57 p.m. Bedtime here is 7 because my kids are evil morning people and wake up by 6 each morning.
Right now I can hear that G5 is tiptoeing to her brothers' room and talking to them. This is after a 30-minute tantrum, after I had to lay in bed with them one at a time to get them to stop hyperventilating, after I put the baby to bed, then G5 to bed, then G5 needed markers and a coloring book because she wasn't tired, then she came downstairs and needed medicine... I need a fucking break.
Today was a rough day and I really handled it well, for me. I didn't lose my temper with them. I tried to make the day fun and not stay angry at them for the dumb-kid things they did.
Still, though, I've been with them for 11 hours straight by the time he leaves. And he deserves the time away, and he offers and gives me time away whenever I want it, but that doesn't negate the fact that the 12-14 hour day I put in with them is a long one.
And that our cat just threw up in the fucking living room.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
why the bloody hell can't my daughter potty train for the love of god?
My darling eldest, D5, or G5, or whatever I decided to call her, is going to be 6 in June. She's supposed to start kindergarten in the fall.
She still has motherfucking potty accidents all the fucking time.
I cannot express what an issue this has been in our relationship.
She started potty training before she was 2. She'd even stop playing to go pee on the potty, and I was super-excited. But then I found out we had twins on the way, and assumed she'd regress anyway, so we never pushed it. Just kept the potty around.
The summer of her 2nd birthday, she switched daycare situations a handful of times, moved, got two new babies, and all around had a shitty time. I did not pressure her to use the toilet -- in fact I tried to shield her from family members' intimations that she should be out of diapers.
After she turned 3, it started getting to me. I think it was sometime that fall, so she was 39ish months. I tried pull-ups, tried undies, tried nakey-time, tried reward charts...
And it dragged on. Her pediatrician said she just wasn't ready, and to drop it for a few months. I tried that a few times. Finally she was turning 5 and still not what I'd consider potty trained. Thank God, she doesn't poop her pants. She mastered that first, actually.
But she still pees herself regularly. It has gotten better, gradually. Now, 3 months shy of her 6th birthday, she pees herself nearly every day, but it isn't a full voiding of her bladder. Normally the urine doesn't even go through to her pants, although tonight it did. And to my sofa.
She is completely blase about this, which is infuriating.
We've looked into medical help, but 1) the tests available are invasive, 2) if a physical condition exists, she is likely to outgrow it on her own in a few years if she is going to outgrow it at all, and 3) success rates for the surgical option are not effective enough for me to justify putting her through all that.
FUUUUUUUUCK!
She still has motherfucking potty accidents all the fucking time.
I cannot express what an issue this has been in our relationship.
She started potty training before she was 2. She'd even stop playing to go pee on the potty, and I was super-excited. But then I found out we had twins on the way, and assumed she'd regress anyway, so we never pushed it. Just kept the potty around.
The summer of her 2nd birthday, she switched daycare situations a handful of times, moved, got two new babies, and all around had a shitty time. I did not pressure her to use the toilet -- in fact I tried to shield her from family members' intimations that she should be out of diapers.
After she turned 3, it started getting to me. I think it was sometime that fall, so she was 39ish months. I tried pull-ups, tried undies, tried nakey-time, tried reward charts...
And it dragged on. Her pediatrician said she just wasn't ready, and to drop it for a few months. I tried that a few times. Finally she was turning 5 and still not what I'd consider potty trained. Thank God, she doesn't poop her pants. She mastered that first, actually.
But she still pees herself regularly. It has gotten better, gradually. Now, 3 months shy of her 6th birthday, she pees herself nearly every day, but it isn't a full voiding of her bladder. Normally the urine doesn't even go through to her pants, although tonight it did. And to my sofa.
She is completely blase about this, which is infuriating.
We've looked into medical help, but 1) the tests available are invasive, 2) if a physical condition exists, she is likely to outgrow it on her own in a few years if she is going to outgrow it at all, and 3) success rates for the surgical option are not effective enough for me to justify putting her through all that.
FUUUUUUUUCK!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
passive-aggressive
My in-laws, who I do generally like a lot, have a habit of bringing people to my house without asking or even mentioning it first. Inviting strangers to my kids' birthday parties, on the extreme end.
But less extreme is my MIL and FIL's habit of bringing a niece or nephew along every time they visit us. Because we don't already have enough kids, and we aren't already sick of kids, and we'd love one or two more kids to take care of on a weekend when we already have a houseful.
In theory it is lovely to visit with the kids but in reality I don't like kids very much.
Anyway, the worst part is that they do not ask us about this or inform us about this in advance.
So, because I am passive-aggressive, I do not scoop the litterbox (in the basement, in a room adjacent to the futon in the playroom where company is known to sleep) when I am surprised by an additional guest.
Whoops! Didn't have time to clean since I didn't know you were coming, teenaged niece! Do you smell something? I don't know what that could be. NIGHT NIGHT!
But less extreme is my MIL and FIL's habit of bringing a niece or nephew along every time they visit us. Because we don't already have enough kids, and we aren't already sick of kids, and we'd love one or two more kids to take care of on a weekend when we already have a houseful.
In theory it is lovely to visit with the kids but in reality I don't like kids very much.
Anyway, the worst part is that they do not ask us about this or inform us about this in advance.
So, because I am passive-aggressive, I do not scoop the litterbox (in the basement, in a room adjacent to the futon in the playroom where company is known to sleep) when I am surprised by an additional guest.
Whoops! Didn't have time to clean since I didn't know you were coming, teenaged niece! Do you smell something? I don't know what that could be. NIGHT NIGHT!
Monday, March 17, 2008
intro and bitching about sex
I am all over this dee-lux apartment in the sky-hi-high. Except I would totally have a shitty basement apartment.
Anyway, I have a Husband. Usually we get along well and he is my best friend. Usually. We also have four kids. Our oldest is a 5-year-old girl who I'll call G5. We have twin boys who are 3 who I'll call B3a and B3b. And we have a baby who I'll call G1.
So this rocks, because I adore my family but sometimes I want to admit that I fucking hate them all and just want to get drunk all the damn time and watch Reno 911 marathons or something. So yeah, thanks for this, Constance the first. And the main reason I want a place to vent without potentially embarrassing my husband, who I do love...
I do not have a strong sex drive. I wish I did. I have a strong sleep drive. And a strong cookie-eating drive, and a strong sit-around-on-the-internet-watching-tv drive. But I feel like I should not have to have obligatory sex. And he feels like it shouldn't be obligatory, but I should WANT it. This causes every bit of the conflict we have in our marriage. And that sucks.
Anyway, I have a Husband. Usually we get along well and he is my best friend. Usually. We also have four kids. Our oldest is a 5-year-old girl who I'll call G5. We have twin boys who are 3 who I'll call B3a and B3b. And we have a baby who I'll call G1.
So this rocks, because I adore my family but sometimes I want to admit that I fucking hate them all and just want to get drunk all the damn time and watch Reno 911 marathons or something. So yeah, thanks for this, Constance the first. And the main reason I want a place to vent without potentially embarrassing my husband, who I do love...
I do not have a strong sex drive. I wish I did. I have a strong sleep drive. And a strong cookie-eating drive, and a strong sit-around-on-the-internet-watching-tv drive. But I feel like I should not have to have obligatory sex. And he feels like it shouldn't be obligatory, but I should WANT it. This causes every bit of the conflict we have in our marriage. And that sucks.
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